Woods vs. Duval
Turns ZZZ's into Great Theatre

By Robert Lewis
Rockiesgolf.com Staff Columnist First of all, let's get something straight: golf on TV is a real bore.

Let's get a second thing straight: people who identify themselves as a "golf purist" are probably lonely, divorced, dateless and purchasing Viagra by the case.

I've tried to watch golf many times on the boob tube. The Masters, The British Open, The Motorola Open. You name it, I've tried to watch it. Again and again, I've fallen asleep to the dreadfully slow game with painfully boring announcers in soft voices.

Any insomniac will tell you: want to solve your sleeplessness? Try watching golf on TV. No matter how great the tournament is for golf, it's tough to make it exciting for sports fans that live for the fast-paced NBA, NHL, NFL and even the poetic action of Major League Baseball.

Asking the game of golf to become more exciting on TV is like asking Phyllis Diller to be prettier. It takes a lot of creativity. Actually, for Phyllis to be prettier would take a lot of drinking.

The Tiger Woods vs. David Duval match is a golf made-for-TV drama that is a long overdue idea. All of us like one-one-one matchups so we can hang out at the bar, burp, cackle and argue with the fat guy next to us as to who is the best. That's why we're sports fans.

	Tiger Woods

Arguments are cheap, free, easy and we all can be partly right. This event won't even come close to proving which player is better, but the script, the drama and the theatre will be magnificent.

The golf purists hate this event, which is part of the reason I love it. This event pits two of the finest golfers in the game against one another in a big-time match. For drama, it's all there. Duval has his chance to upstage the Goliath-like figure known as Tiger Woods. It's his chance to get his moment in the sun and $1.1 million. The winner gets the next day's headlines and is on top of the golf world for quite some time to come.

The snobbish, bow-tie brigade purists will try to convince you that this event is turning golf and the PGA into the WWF. They will try to convince you that this event is cheapening the game and now the floodgates will open for more big-money skin games.

Well, frankly, I would rather watch my car rust than hang out with a golf purist.

I say, "let the floodgates open." Besides, I can't imagine Jesse Ventura in knickers.

	David Duval

Woods vs. Duval will provide stimulating theatre that many non-golfers will enjoy. Viewers like me who really don't enjoy watching professional golf will tune in for the sheer pleasure of watching two of the best battle for $1.1 million. Hearts will pound if the match comes down to a stroke or two in the final holes. This matchup would have been better if it would've been winner-take-all and loser walks. Instead, the "loser" will pocket $400,000.

In a winner take all, we might see some real emotion - which is not seen very often from pro golfers.

Woods vs. Duval is better TV than a typical tournament because it will keep the viewer's attention span longer and it only asks the viewer to know and understand two golfers. Everybody knows Tiger; now ABC will just have to educate viewers about the lesser-known Duval. The majority of serious golfers know Duval quite well.

Most average golfers have no idea who half the players are in a large tourney field. Quick! Who was that guy who just blew the British Open? Have you ever heard of him before he entered the British Open?

If you have, get a life.

The game of golf should have enough of an umbrella to cater to the diehard fans as well as worm burners who never follow a leader board. Baseball purists hate home run derbies and often believe that they cheapen the game. Many of them don't even like all-star games. Yet, home run derbies get everyone involved and are well-watched. Bandwagon baseball fans tune in and everyone enjoys the fun of watching the best majestic shots fly into the blue seats.

Woods vs. Duval may not be that exciting. But it sure will be fun to see two great golfers on a sunny day dueling in a high stakes challenge. The pressure, the intensity, the theatre will get the rest of us involved.

And this time, I'm going to stay awake.